My Almighty Toaster

I want to preface this post with the following:
   I am not a believer. An atheist if you please, although that term really only describes what I am not. Further, I was, at one time, an evangelical Christian. I was a member of a church that emphasized Bible study. I attended both Sunday services, the mid-week service, the Thusday evening Bible study, and was on the evangelical committee.  I owned a Schofield Study Bible, Strongs Concordenance, Greek interlinear, and other study books. I have not only read, but studied the Bible from cover to cover. I was asked to serve as a Deacon. I lead youth talks and lead a Bible class for pre-schoolers. I spoke from the pulpit. I am not an ignorant atheist. I find I know far more about the Bible than 99% of the Christian people I meet. (But that's a whole other post)

I posted a picture on my Facebook wall the other day. I had been reading some disturbing articles and frankly, posted way more atheistic stuff than normal. I was kind of on a rant. I usually try to post things that are intended to be educational or thought provoking, without jabbing religious folks for the sake of jabbing.

  This particular picture was a drawing, cartoonish, of a cross with a child nailed to it in Christ-like fashion. Beside the drawing was a quote from Tracie Harris of the Atheist Experience. It read:

"You either have a god who sends child rapists to rape children, or you have a god who simply watches and says, 'When you're done, I'll punish you.'
 "If I could stop a person from raping a child, I would. That's the difference between me and your god"

A good friend, and one of my favorite people, commented:
"I have a God that says it's up to us. Watch over the children and punish the rapist, any Rapist."

My final comment was, "That's like saying, 'I have a toaster that says it's up to you, watch over the children etc."
It really is the same. My Toaster actually has all of the qualities of that god. I can say, "My toaster has a plan for me. If I trust, my Toaster will provide. I can pray to my toaster, and when the desired result happens, rejoice and praise it. If I do not get the desired result, it was not my Toasters will. But I can be assured that my Toaster will never give me more than I can bear. Plus I can put a slice of ordiary bread in my Toaster and right before my eyes it will become delicious, warm, golden, toast.

If you are a believer and you've made it this far, you now are begining to know what it's like to be an a-theist. Someone is going on about some ridiculous crap about a miraculous (Toaster/God).

You may say, "Your Toaster in man made". Do I have to say it?
I don't know how many toasters man has created, but since the Sumarians developed a written language, something like 6000 years ago, man has documented 2870 Deities. Many are still familiar. Thor, Odin, Zues, Neptune, Oris, Aphrodite, Rah. All were once great and powerful gods.

The earliest gods were sort of like the God of genesis. They explained the unexplainable. The sun moving across this flat table-top-like earth. Lightning. Fire. All these things that were beyond human comprehension. Later, people went "up" to Heaven, or "down" to Hell. This was possible on the  table-top flat Earth, with heaven above and Hell below.

Of course now we know that the Earth is a Spherical planet, rotating on a polar axis while orbiting a sun that is hurling through space. If one were to ascend from the surface of the planet one would go "out there, somewhere, depending on the position of the planet etc."
  There is no "up" from earth, only "out."  So heaven would have to be a reletively small place, in
 geo-sincronous orbit with a particular lift off point.

Some gods died with thier followers. Others fell victim to critical thinking. Then came science. Astronomers tracked the movement of the stars. Mariners tested the "edge". Bad news for gods.
  But there were a handful that hung on. The major players, with one notable exception, had a trump card that has kept them alive. The "No Death Guarantee." Bam! Whether it's Nervana, Re-incarnation, Paradise, Heaven, you just can't beat not dying.
  My Toaster did come with a guarantee, but nothing like that.

The notable exception? Judaism. I will be the first to admit I know little about the Torah, and how it may differ from the "Old Testament" Genesis-Deuteronomy, But I do know the Old Testament Yahweh gave no such guarantee. Death was punishment.

Getting back to my Almighty Toaster, you can plainly see, like it or not, that it has most of the same ridiculous qualities of the average god.
  It seems harmless enough, unless my Toaster acquires a following who wants to come into your children's school and teach your kids all about the power and glory of my Toaster and present it to them as a fact, like "The Good News Club". Or deny Gay people the right to eat toast like the rest of us.  Or they imprison and torture non-Toaster believers, Or they declare holy war on non-toasterites. Or fly planes into buildings full of Toasterless infidels.


  Sadly, because of the lack of a "No Death Guarantee," I suspect that sooner or later my glorious Toaster will end up where all gods belong, and where they can do no harm.