"What's love got to do with it", or "To all the girls I've loved before"

A woman friend recently confided in me that she had been in love with someone "who didn't love himself" and concluded, "So how could he love me?"

 What the heck are we talking about here, anyway?

The ancient Greeks broke "love" down into four catagories.
Agape. This is the sort of unconditional bond between a parent and child.
Phileo, the relational bond between friends.
Storge, the expression of affection, and
Eros, being the fulfillment of sexual desire.

We have expanded that to... I don't know... it's ridiculous. It's like the "F" word. you can use it pretty much anywhere in a sentence, although the meaning is not always clear, but rarely is it used in the original sense.  We throw love around in conversation as though we're all thinking of the same definition.

Let's keep it simple shall we? I offer the following:

Love, as commonly used in American English, either refers to that parent child thing above, or, the commitment or agreement which bonds two people. (which is, unfortunatley, usually unspoken)

My friend's statement above would more acuratley be put this way; "The man that I desire to have an intimate relationship with is difficult to be with due to his  lack of self esteem."

Gee, when you put that way, is seems much less dramatic.

So keep it simple, can the drama, call it what it is, and keep on smiling.
And know that I love you.(added for dramatic effect)

Peace,
       George

You deserve a break. Or do you?

  I have another word issue. Actually, I have a docket nearly full of them. The one that's up today comes from a number of posts I've seen on Facebook. All of them posted by woman. The issues I think are probably sexually inclusive, women are more outspoken about what they're feeling though.

  The posts go something like this; "Everyone deserves someone who is kind and honest and loving..."
To which I say, "Wrong".

 You might be thinking, "George! That's cold, dude! Don't you think everyone should have a partner who is kind and honest and loving?" Well, yes. Yes I do. That's not the same as saying that everyone "deserves" one.

  Look, if I say what I want for my life is a nice quiet house cat, and instead, I aquire one of those little yappy dogs, I'm going to have a little yappy dog. Not that I "deserve" a little yappy dog. But that's what I, for whatever reason, keep in my life. I allowed it. I accept it.
  I could spend several years "expecting" Fifi to become a house cat, but it probably won't happen.

But I'm a good guy! I give and I give! I work my butt off to make this a nice home, and I buy the expensive cat food! And still I have a yappy little dog, when clearly I deserve a quiet house cat! What's wrong with the world? WHY AM I CURSED!!!???

  You say that sounds ridiculous? I concur. But if you substitute [undesirable] partner for Little yappy dog in the above scenario, you have a really common situation.

  If we accept deceit, we can expect deceit. If we accept cruelty, we can expect cruelty.
If we desire commitment, we must accept nothing less. If we desire honesty we must accept nothing less.

I'm not saying you get what you deserve. That's just ugly.
I'm saying let's get rid of the word "deserve", and the concept as well. Now, if  we don't deserve, It's a whole new world. For if we deserve nothing, all that's left is to choose what we will have.
I choose happiness. And love. And honesty. I will accept nothing less. How about you?

Peace
       George.
P.S
  Here'a big, bubbly, conceptual thought: If most of us took this up, as a cause, most of the "jerks" would be faced with this choice; Straighten up, or be a jerk... alone.

What are you swinging at?

My friend Nichole posted the following on her facebook timeline:
"be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some sort of battle"
It's a great thing, to spread kindness. Always. I like to say being kind to others is a gift to yourself.
 It's the second part that got me thinking.


 Here's the thing that bothers me about that statement.
I would say, "most everyone you meet thinks they are fighting some sort of battle."
"Why would I say that?", you ask.
  Physics. I'm no Will Hunting, I admit. I do know this, though. The past is gone. Forever. It's not what we call "real". What is "real"? I would define real as that which we can detect with the sences. Touch, taste, smell, hearing, sight. There's nothing in the past that you can lay hands on.
  The future hasn't happened yet. nothing in the future is real yet.

Did you ever see a bunch of people doing tai chi in the park?
  When I hear that someone is fighting a battle, unless they are making physical contact with an opponent, I visualize that person swinging at air.

  I studied Ishin Ru karate for about 2 1/2 years in the 90's. If you've ever studied martial arts and practiced "kata", or "forms", and literally swung at an immaginary opponent, you know it makes you tired.

If you haven't studied martial arts, try this. Grab a baseball bat, or a hockey stick or something you might use to defend yourself with. (NOT a gun) (duh) Now find an open space. Outdoors is probably best. Make sure there's no one around you. Now swing that thing as though you were fighting for your life.

Whew! wears you out, huh?

The point is, if you are doing battle with the past, or a "what if..." or with a concern for the future, you're swinging at air. And it's taking a physical toll on you.

 I hope you aren't swinging at air.
Save all your passion for the real stuff.

Peace,
       George
P.S. Checkwith a physician before swinging stuff. Also, let him/her know if above activity causes an erection lasting more than four hours. Thanks.